sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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