Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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