Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Randomize
