I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
