I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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