im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
