I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
