That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Randomize
