the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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