I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
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