But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
