The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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