Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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