Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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