After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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