Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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