who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
