great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
