why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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