you would pick up someone in the library
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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