Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Randomize
