Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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