wakey wakey hands off snakey
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
