Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
