My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
