Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
