She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
