put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
