shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
