sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
