just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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