Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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