that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
