im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
