I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
