You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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