So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
