Christians are straight up FREAKS
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
What a dumb baby whore.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
