he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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