This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize