He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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