Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
