I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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