My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize