I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize