So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
