Non-Jews are for practice
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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