pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
