I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
