And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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