ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
