im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
