Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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